"You is kind, You is smart, You is important” lol but no really! As I sit back and reflect on where I was a year ago I decided to write a letter to my pre-pa self
A year ago, I was living in Nashville working as an ER scribe and taking my last pre-req, Microbiology. I was in the “waiting” process of my pre-pa journey; still looking at other schools to apply to and turning in my supplemental applications. I was grinding trying to keep busy so that I wouldn’t think about the schools that weren’t emailing me for an interview lol. This was a very “trying time” in my journey. This is like the WORST PART of the journey! You’re waiting around, checking your email every 2 seconds and wondering if you will get an interview invite or not. A few months passed with no interview invites. Only emails saying that the school has received my application and that it's being reviewed.
People would always ask so what are you doing? Did they call you for an interview? Did you hear back from any schools (I would be fine until someone asked me this lol)? Why is Kayler in school and you aren’t (Yes people would ask me this, comparing us and I had to just get myself all the way together). This would make me feel like I wasn’t doing anything or like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
"Tayler celebrate the small and big victories. You completed your CASPA, you completed your personal statement, you turned in your supplementals way to go! This is a huge step in your process because it’s a lot of work that went into it. You spent countless hours inputting your grades, your experiences and perfecting your application. You spent countless hours writing your personal statement to reflect why you want to become a PA. That’s huge, way to go girl! Don’t be so hard on yourself! Breath and congratulate yourself for crossing one bridge before you stress out about the next one. Sit back and reflect and see how far you’ve come. You are making progress and I’m so proud of you. Tay, you got an interview invite today that’s huge! Thank God and pat yourself on the back. Tay, you got through the interview without it going horribly wrong. Tay, they called you and said you’ve been accepted to PA school! That’s so awesome! Go celebrate and thank GOD because this is what you’ve been waiting for. You’ve prayed for this and never forget that. GOD did just what he said he would do. Look in the mirror and just reflect on how far you’ve come girl. You are walking into a new season that’s going to come with new blessings. Even when you start school don’t get so caught up in the stressors of it but remember how far you’ve come, remember the nights you prayed to be in this position. Remember all the hard work you’ve put in. Remember that God brought you to this point and he will sustain you. Congratulations Tayler! I’m beyond happy for you.”
I wanted to write myself a small letter because I can be so hard on myself you guys. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect or have it all together (who has it all together at 24 anyways lol)
Side note: Everyone’s journey is different. Just because someone is further along in their journey doesn’t mean that they are winning and you are losing. God orders our steps and each and every one of our journeys are different. For my pre-pas, pre-nursing, pre-med, etc. when others ask you “what are you doing” tell them that you are preparing for school. You are preparing for your career. You’re preparing not only to learn how to save lives but to pour great things into your patients that God has given you. Just because you’re not “there yet” doesn’t mean that what you are doing isn’t important. The process is just as important as the end results. Let me say that again for the people in the back lol. Your process is just as important as your end results. (you remember in school you couldn’t just write the answer down, your teacher wanted to know how you got the answer because the how is just as important). During the process, God is grooming you and preparing you for the next level. God is teaching you things in your process that are instrumental in where you are trying to go. My process taught me how to step out of faith even more, it taught me how to continue to trust God no matter what it is, it taught me how to continue to speak those things that are not as though they were, and my process taught me that comparing myself to others is unhealthy.
So today I tell my pre-pa self and my current self lol to not be so hard on myself. Celebrate the small and big victories. You don’t have to be perfect and you definitely don’t have to have it all together.